I live for the day you and Claire will part; you both want to. I know how much you resent her, my love. I just wish you could understand how much she ...eans to me as a friend.To see in writing what I just said makes me realize how loathsome I am. I should tell Claire what's going on but I fear losing her friendship. I wish I could tell you why and why she is so important to me. Perhaps one day I will be able to. When I do I hope you will understand.I saw your father today at the club. As usual. Opening my eyes to see who would intrude in my thoughts I saw a face I had never seen before, the features were oriental, round, maybe Japanese. Not caring I reached out and grabbed her worthless neck, intending to squeeze the life out of her.Before I could do much more than start to squeeze other hands were trying to pull me back, trying to get me to release her. After squeezing for what seemed like a short time of maybe ten seconds, I could see panic in her face as she realized she could not. "How 'bout a little wager, say a pound, make it interesting?"I turned out my pocket, and he tossed me the purse he had taken from me. I dumped out a handful of shillings. "Let's say a crown," I said. "When?" Right now, out in the square," the man smiled and led me out as a crowd quickly gathered. My stomach sent me several messages about its empty condition, and I tried to ignore them and get my anger flaring. I managed to get mad about being hungry.Their local champion showed up in full. I always enjoyed sucking on those things because she was sure to react in a comical way telling me to bite her harder on her pretty tit. I have to admit it annoyed me no end to have her dish out her favors to some strange cowboy or a drummer selling cheap whiskey made with raw alcohol. It was suitable only for the redskins and the falling down drunks that slept in the stable.If I hadn’t already shaved and dressed for an early game of poker over at the Long Branch, I would have been tempted to.
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